How to Deal with Rude People
A jerk is a jerk regardless of where they are born or live. Geographic locations have nothing to do with rude behavior. My husband and I have lived in the south, the west, the midwest and even New York. Mean is mean and I didn’t care for them on any coast. Don’t ever believe that these people are unaware of what they are doing. No one smart enough to insult is stupid enough not to know they are hurting your feelings. His comedic and hurtful responses are designed to make himself appear superior. He has perfected his craft and when he meets another sharp shooter his pistol mouth cringes and turns downward because he deems himself a professional sniper.
This question is similar to one that I had earlier. Setting boundaries early in all relationships is vital. When dealing with this type of person do the following:
1. Never laugh at his jokes or when he’s talking about someone else. They love an audience. They crave attention, don’t give him any.
2. Never think you are his friend. He has low self esteem and probably dislikes himself so he can’t like you. Sad and often heard but hurting people hurt people.
3. This person uses his quick intellect to hide some underlying hurt that you will probably never know about so don’t work to try to figure it out, avoid him if at all possible or inform him that you are not going to be his willing victim and that he should stick to work related topics and save his bullets for someone else. He has to know nicely and professionally that you don’t find them endearing or funny in the south, the north, the east, the west or on the equator.
4. If there is anyone within the workplace that he respects you may be able to ask that person to speak with him about his behavior and suggest that he curtail his “putdowns” because his coworkers find him obnoxious. More than likely he will accuse you all of being too sensitive and blow it off so don’t put much stock in this helping your case but it is noted. You will have to change how you treat him.
5. If you look into this man’s past you will probably find a landfill full of wounded, tongue beaten friends, family members, girlfriends and or wives. If you are able to feel sorry for him, do that, but if you are able to avoid him, do that too.
6. When a coworker hurts his feelings nothing changes for him. He just decides to get them back later. This problem is strictly an inside job. All of his relationships are probably marred. The most effective person against this type of behavior is probably the one who publically tells him he needs help for his hidden issues.
This is sad but you can’t fix everyone’s problems. Some issues you have to avoid and pray for from a distant and this may be that situation. By all means, don’t allow yourself to become his verbal whipping board so that he can get a laugh from coworkers who are glad its you and not them.
Set boundaries in all relationships. Rope off areas of your life that are not open to this person. Do it early. One thing I do know about a northerner and a southerner, they are not stupid and they know when to back up because they just crossed a woman.